NEMESIS

Many a ‘yes’ and many a ‘no’ have I uttered, without reflecting on whether I was right or not. And in my arrogance I fail; fail to go back; fail to do that which I failed to do. In the face of booty and great plunder, I entered faceless; nothing to hide that which I bore within all along. I, then, sauntered boldly into unknown lands, with no compass to guide me; unrepentantly blind, wafted in by my own folly.

Many a night, I seemed to emerge spent, howbeit victorious.

Until, alas, I met my match.

The sky in protest chose a side, Black, and it was time to make another one. Between the beguiling end and heaving bosoms of nemesis I lay – the past and the future – my actions and justice – I lay, satisfied with conceited pleasure. Haunted by her enchanting vivacity, I lay, till she turned her back to me.

‘Do you really want it?’ she inquired

            In the face of utmost satisfaction, I stood, aroused, without an answer – that which I had spurned had come back to haunt me. It started slowly, questions; how do I go in; back or front; in or out; yes or no? Again! I was back to my quandary. Yes or no? It didn’t matter what I had chosen, the realization of what blind lust had driven me to, was making me hard. At that moment, I could not be pushed by libido anymore; it only made me standstill, hard, unyielding; ‘yes or no?’

            Like a trained soldier in the swampy forest of the Biafra I stood; still, firm, but not willing to cock my gun without a reason. Yes or no? I stood, hard, armed, ready to fire if I heard the call. A soft whisper, a moan, anything that could push me forward – plunge me into the deep.

            But it never came.

            She waited deftly, refusing to push me in. I was the man; responsible for my actions; her back; keeping her from religious banter, if ever an issue were to come out of her. She was willing to come with me, whenever I was ready to go in.

Nemesis.

Whichever way you chose to handle what lay behind, could loosen or tighten your grip on the mountains that lay in front, albeit they are barely seen.

Angst. Trigger-ready. I hesitated. A moment, that was it, I was down never to rise gallantly for her amusement. I holstered my weapon, stepped back, looking at what lay behind, unsure of what lay ahead. I turned around.

Not today…

I walked into the yellowing sky, content to see it birthed from its womb. Indeed it is said ‘…but joy cometh in the morn’